


my hands, your bones

by bellamyblakes (bcllamy)



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Bellarke, F/M, I Don't Even Know, i have too many emotions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-16
Updated: 2016-04-16
Packaged: 2018-06-02 12:49:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6566881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bcllamy/pseuds/bellamyblakes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I promise I won't kiss you again."</p>
<p>He laughed and helped her to her feet. </p>
<p>"You can kiss me again. When you're sober."</p>
<p>"I'm not drunk," she argued as she wrapped her arm around his waist for balance.</p>
<p>"Tell that to your headache in the morning."</p>
            </blockquote>





	my hands, your bones

**Author's Note:**

> this is just me being emo about 3x11
> 
> title is from lose it by oh wonder

A large fire burned brightly in the middle of camp (kept a safe distance away from their growing crops and water supply) surrounded by almost the entire population of Arkadia. Voices mingled and mixed, creating a symphony of sounds that surprisingly didn't bother Bellamy. In fact, it was kind of soothing, reassuring. No one was yelling or arguing. Almost every face had a smile. 

It was a celebration. 

It had been a full year since the City of Light was destroyed, since a real alliance was created between the twelve clans and the sky people. A full year of peace. It was the first official celebration that Bellamy had no doubt would carry on a tradition through the years, just like Unity Day. But this day had no official name or story or speech. It was a day to reflect on what brought them there, deaths and all. Some were mourning people who hadn't made it a full year, some were celebrating that they had. It was a day that meant whatever you wanted it to be. 

Bellamy had spent a good amount of the day thinking about himself and the choices he had made. That was why he was on his third cup of moonshine and tucked away from the large crowd. Someone had dragged logs around the edge of the gathering as seats, and he had picked the farthest one. 

It had been one year since Gina died and he knew he didn't love her, but he still missed her. He had been trying to find some sort of normalcy when he started dating her, something to make him feel like he wasn't completely out of place and she provided just that. It wasn't love, but he did have feelings for her. 

Raven had to really drill it into his head that her death wasn't his fault and he did the same for her until they both were at peace.

With a sigh, Bellamy finished his third cup of moonshine and decided he was tipsy enough to not need anymore. In fact, he wanted to go back to his room and sleep. 

But before he could even pull himself up, a silhouette caught his eye. She was walking toward him from the fire, the light causing the edges of her hair to turn into spun gold. He couldn't even see her face but he felt like she was smiling. 

Clarke slipped into Bellamy's lap without a breath of hesitation, wrapping her arms around his stomach and nuzzling against his neck. He froze for just a moment before he wrapped his own arms around her, resting his cheek on the top of her head. 

Something Bellamy had learned in the past year was that Clarke liked to be held a lot. And a lot of those times, Bellamy was the one holding her. He never asked her why or anything, and he never really wanted to. But he also learned that when Clarke was drunk, she was especially touchy.  
Which he assumed was the reason she was currently in his lap. With so many people around, he usually would have nudged her off, not really ever in the mood for teasing from their friends, but he was just a little bit past tipsy and she was warm and soft against him. 

"You okay?" he asked. 

Clarke hummed, tightening her arms around him. "'M good. Haven't seen you around," she slurred. 

"I was about to go to my room for the night."

"And miss this party? And all the moonshine?"

"Is there any left? Or did you drink it all?"

"Haha," Clarke replied, pulling back so she could look at him. He could see her better now that she was so close. His heart thumped painfully at the proximity and at the shape of her lips when she smiled at him. Her eyes looked a little sad and Bellamy suspected his did too. They carried too much weight between the two of them. 

Clarke sighed, her moonshine breath blowing right by Bellamy's nose. She was definitely drunk. 

And she was also very beautiful but he didn't tell her that. 

"I'm not drunk, Bellamy. I'm...having fun," she said after he pointed his previous statement out.

He snorted, shaking his head a little and making her smile turn into a scowl. Her eyes dropped down to his lips and she leaned forward just enough for Bellamy's soul to leave his body. 

"I've been wondering where this scar is from," Clarke breathed, reaching her hand up to brush her thumb against the little scar above Bellamy's top lip. His soul re-entered his body with a disappointed sigh. 

"It's not heroic, if that's what you're thinking," Bellamy said, really distracted because Clarke still had her thumb on his mouth. 

"You caught me. I was hoping for a good, life-threatening story."

"I was eight and playing hide-and-seek with some of my friends. I found some really weird dark room and crawled underneath this desk. I didn't turn the lights on because I didn't want the seeker to find me, so as I tried to get further under the desk, I slammed my face into a big opened pipe. I had to get stitches and my mom was furious."

"That sounds pretty heroic to me. I'd be scared and turn the lights on."

Bellamy rolled his eyes and pressed his lips together to suppress a smile. "You're so drunk."

Clarke shifted on his lap, one hand sliding up his neck to cup his face, the other brushing her fingers through his hair slowly. He shivered at her touch, his grip tight on hips. Her smile was fond, even though her eyes were a little glassy. 

"I'm so glad you're here. And I love that scar, even if you got it from playing hide-and-seek," she murmured. 

"You love my scar?"

With a hum, Clarke leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss against his scar. Bellamy's soul definitely left his body at that point and time. And then he remembered Clarke was drunk and sad, and even though they weren't technically kissing, he didn't want her like that. 

He pulled away gently, watching her frown. "Hey," he said softly. "Not like this, okay?"

She pressed her fingers against her lips and shook her head. "I'm sorry. I don't know why I did that."

"It's okay." Bellamy shifted Clarke from his lap, clearing his throat as he stood. "I'm going to head back. Be careful, okay? Don't drink anymore or you'll get sick."

"Thanks, Mom," Clarke grumbled. Bellamy turned to leave, but she caught his wrist. "I don't want to be alone tonight. Can I stay with you please?"

He froze, studying her face. She wasn't even looking at him, her eyes were glued to a spot just above his shoulder, a line formed between her eyebrows. 

"I promise I won't kiss you again."

He laughed and helped her to her feet. 

"You can kiss me again. When you're sober."

"I'm not drunk," she argued as she wrapped her arm around his waist for balance.

"Tell that to your headache in the morning."

Bellamy led Clarke to his room as she rambled about medical things that he literally didn't understand a single word of. But he pretended he did, and listened to her intently as she kicked off her boots and climbed into his bed. 

He followed suit, reaching over to turn off the light that was sitting on his desk. They had fallen asleep together loads of times while pouring over maps or crowding into Raven's room with stolen moonshine and friends. 

But this was different because they were squeezed together on Bellamy's small bed, and Clarke was drunk and touchy, and he was trying his best to ignore her hand on his arm, her thumb rubbing back and forth. 

She hummed before rolling over, away from him, and Bellamy suspected she fell asleep two seconds later. 

He let himself relax knowing that she was asleep. His heart was thumping painfully against his ribs. Clarke practically kissed him. And yes, she was drunk, but Bellamy's feelings for her had consumed him long ago, and thinking about her soft lips against his made him want to suffocate himself with his own pillow. 

He couldn't believe Clarke kissed him. He didn't know what to think. 

With a shake of his head, Bellamy shut down his thoughts. If he couldn't stop thinking, he definitely wouldn't get any sleep and a sleepy Bellamy was an asshole Bellamy. 

\--

Bellamy woke with hair in his mouth and a heavy weight on his chest. He groaned without accessing the situation and said situation shifted with a breathy sigh, her nose pressed against his throat. 

Turned out Clarke liked to sleep basically on top of people (Bellamy). 

Squinting, Bellamy tried to decide what time of day it was by the sunlight streaming in through his window but he failed earth studies and barely paid enough attention to the sun while on earth. 

Clarke hummed before stretching with a groan, almost punching Bellamy in the nose. 

"Watch it," he warned and Clarke immediately pulled all limbs back into her personal space (mostly. She was still practically on top of him.)

She groaned again before rolling off of Bellamy and the bed at the same time, landing on her feet with a frown and her eyes squinting at him. She massaged her knuckles into her temple, most likely to soothe her hangover headache.

“Sorry for sleeping on you,” Clarke pointed out. “But I’m going to rehydrate myself and I promised my mom I’d help in medical today. I’ll see you later?”

Bellamy was so surprised about how nonchalant she was acting that he could only blurt an, “okay,” before she slipped out of his room and left him alone.

So, she just wasn’t going to acknowledge anything? That’s cool. That’s fine. It wasn’t like Bellamy was expecting her to proclaim her love for him or anything.

Nothing like that at all. 

Whatever. Bellamy had things to do as well. Like guard duty by Raven’s Gate and important things like that. He wouldn’t let Clarke get to him.

\--

He let Clarke get to him. By lunchtime, his entire body was stiff with annoyance. It wasn’t okay for her to play with him like that. It wasn’t like his feelings were a complete secret. He was sure Clarke had _some sort_ of inkling. 

So, yes, he was very annoyed. If she didn’t feel the same way, she shouldn’t be sitting in his lap and almost kissing him. He understood she was drunk, but she wasn’t completely wasted and he was pretty sure she remembered everything. He didn’t appreciate the entire situation, and while eating his lunch with Monty and Jasper, he decided he was going to say something to her.

If Bellamy just let it go, she might do it again and his feelings weren’t something to play around with. Not by her.

He made it another hour before he decided to track her down. She wasn’t in medical, Abby informing him she gave Clarke the rest of the afternoon off. He found her outside by their plants, grinning at Raven as they watered the little green things. It wasn’t either of their jobs to help water the plants, but it was a beautiful day, and he suspected they were using it as an excuse to be outside.

“Hey,” he said once he worked up the courage to approach her.

“Hi,” Clarke replied, glancing at him with a smile.

“Can I talk to you?”

Raven set down the cup of water she was holding and walked away without even saying anything. Bellamy watched her leave with a frown. He hadn’t gotten to the part where he was going to ask to talk to Clarke _alone_ but it looked like that was already covered.

“Yeah. Are you okay?” 

“I’m…fine. It’s just-do you remember last night?” he asked, mentally scoffing at himself for stuttering like an idiot. It wasn’t like he’d thought about this conversation for the last hour or anything.

“I do,” Clarke said, still watering the fucking plants.

“Well. About that kiss thing-“

“Oh, right. I was going to say something,” she said, finally setting down her cup of water. 

“You were?” Bellamy asked. Clarke nodded before reaching up and wrapping her arms around his neck. “What-“

She cut him off with a kiss, a _real_ kiss. Her lips were soft against his, and she was definitely smiling. Clarke pulled away and slid her hands from around his neck to his chest. He could feel how bright red his face was and he was pretty positive everyone was staring at them.

“Clarke.”

“You said I could kiss you again when I’m sober.”

“I…I did.”

Clarke licked her pink lips, her eyes searching his. “I’ve been waiting for a while to see if you would kiss me. But I guess I get a little impatient when I drink.”

Bellamy’s stomach dropped. “Wait. Really?”

She rolled her eyes. “ _Yes._ ”

He kissed her, wrapping her up in his arms and maybe lifting her off the ground a little. She laughed when his lips left hers and her blue eyes were definitely full of fondness.

Bellamy had been worked up over nothing.

“Okay, really, we’re all happy for you, but Jasper just almost cut off his finger cutting some wood, so I think it would be best if you guys took it somewhere else,” Kane called with a smile on his face.

He had forgotten they were in public and almost the entire camp just witnessed his first kiss with Clarke. But Clarke was laughing as she dropped her arms away from him and took his hand, intertwining their fingers, and Bellamy didn’t care.

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on tumblr where i cry about bellarke daily  
> [biclarkesgriffins](http://biclarkesgriffins.tumblr.com)


End file.
